Paramount's 100th Anniversary Picture

Originally, I was going to finish up part two of my reflections on Mike Brown's book but I ran into this incredible picture and had to comment on it. As you will read in my future posts,  my passionate interest for actors, directors, and film is rivaled only by the NBA. I didn't know anything about this photo session or that this year happened to be Paramount Pictures' 100th anniversary. But what I do know is that the popularity and importance of the group of people brought in this room rivals only the members of certain U.N. conferences or Nobel Prize ceremonies. I didn't think any ensemble would be able to top the original star-studded "We are the World" music video cast (or the 2nd one). It's unfortunate that you can barely make out the 116 stars (again one HUNDRED and sixteen) in the picture I posted above so here's a link of a zoomed in file with accompanying name tags:
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/news/paramount-pictures-celebrating-100-years-with-116-stars01.jpg

I can't help but over analyze the position of the stars on this "podium" they made. What was the architectural inspiration for this thing? Four flights of concrete stairs on a marble top? Someone really needs to break this picture down into 3 parts and make a sporcle out of it. Incredible amounts of props should be given to the person who can single-handedly identify all of them without the labels. Without further ado, let me Patel you about this Picture:

1. Unfortunately, the first thing that popped out from all this was JUSTIN BIEBER. Many questions arose in my noggin: 1. Why is he in this picture in the first place? Does the "Bieber movie" make him accomplished enough to be on the same level as these film Hall of Famers? 2. Why did he stick his hand out to attract more attention the fact that he doesn't belong and 3. Why did he choose to be the ONLY star to wear jeans and a zip up jacket (?). I really don't care about what he wears in his concerts and everyday life but come on dude if Jack Black and Johnny Knoxville can clean up and wear a normal suit, you shouldn't be trying to make a fashion statement.
2. I'm surprised Robert Downey Jr didn't go Iron Man on him and push him off .
3. Get a load of Shia LaBeouf's full beard. He has completely transformed (ha punny) from the scrawny little teen in Even Stevens.
4. Antonio Banderas' aesthetic composure ("swag") radiates in any picture he is in.

More comments (mostly on facial expressions):
5. Dakota Fanning (left screen) seems pretty annoyed by her position under the railing too - but at least she didn't pull a Bieber.
6. Robert Di Niro is legitimately angry - maybe he doesn't like Avatar?
7. Kirk Dounglas is confused or just plain old. Mickey Rooney is just as old but elated.
8. Eddie Murphy is quite sensual.
9. David Chase is doing the Mr. Bean
10. I can only hope to understand what emotions are circulating in Morgan Freeman's head, "I am the voice of God - I demand a fancy chair in the center"
11. Tyrese Gibson is too hood for this picture
Also, why is there so much cluttering around George Takei (top left). Did they think Mark Wahlberg would try to fight him if they stood nearby?
12. Tom Cruise is a douche
13. SACHA BARON COHEN sighting. And again Bieber - the King of ridiculous fashion statements chose to put on a normal black and white tux.
14. Natalie Portman - hubba hubba
15. How did Jaime Lee Curtis out pose Megan Fox?

I was going to post a screenshot from that enormous picture file of my favorite section but I could not decide between two shots in the center area - basically the people under De Niro - Portman - Knoxville triangle are gold.

Paramount covered many of my favorite actors (can't possibly pick a few from these but Sean Penn sticks out for me), actresses (Natalie Portman YES, Meryl Streep, Charlize Theron), comedians, and directors/writers (Speilberg, Fincher, Abrams, Scorsee). The inclusion of these stars in the film industry would've led me to freak out even more: Edward Norton, Johnny Depp, Anthony Hopkins, Robin Williams, James Franco, Christian Bale, Darren Aronofsky, Christopher Nolan, Wes Anderson, Charlie Kaufman, Tim Burton, Louis CK, Jerry Seinfield, Jim Carrey, and maybe good ole Seth Rogen.

Edit: Forgot Tom Hanks, Bill Murray, and Bill Cosby (why not?)

Finally, this is obviously hypocritical from all the Bieber comments I made about proper attire but I salute you Tommy Chong for being you. This man knows how to live a carefree, happy life. As a side note, I can boast with confidence that I will never see a better Chong Halloween costume/impersonation then what my roommate pulled off last year: